Random ways to accept rejection

In writing
Excerpt:
We really appreciated your piece. We think it has great potential. We hope you find a better fit.
Excerpt with notes:
We really appreciated your piece. [Writer of the piece is a boilerplate template hiding behind the royal we. No, it probably doesn’t have the eye to appreciate a cold piece of salmon, leave alone a piece of prose.]We think it has great potential [as fuel in a camp fire]. We hope you find a better fit [We are too good for you].
What to think:

Eewald's writing obsession
The world is not ready yet.


In Love
Excerpt
I. . . I’m so surprised by this. (spread of hands to indicate speaker is at a loss) I always thought we had a lot of fun together. You know, as friends.
Excerpt with notes:
I. . . I’m so surprised by this. [Not at all. I’ve been speculating for a while on when this is going to come. I’ve already weighed the pros and cons of the situation and decided.] I always thought we had a lot of fun together. [Yes, I did consider you for a bit. It turns out it was a lot more fun when J was around!]You know, as friends. [Yes, now I’ve been able to decide you’re the friend.]
What to think:

Taking the first step
Friendship, that’s a step!

In fashion
Excerpt
What’s that you’re wearing? Really interesting. You know, I’ve always wanted to be the one to make a statement at a place like this.
Excerpt with notes:
What’s that you’re wearing? [OMG! What is that you’re wearing?] Really interesting.[Can’t stop laughing!] You know, I’ve always wanted to be the one to make a statement at a place like this. [Thank god it’s not me! Is everybody getting an invite now to an event like this?]
What to think:

Sour grapes.

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