“Seriously, you should listen to me,” says me. “I am the most brilliant person I know.”
I know that my ideas must be good.
I should know. I listen to myself all day.
I make sure I catch ’em ideas before they escape. ‘Em ideas arise from one end of the brain and I catch ’em before they reach the other. I’ve become quite sly. I bait ’em ideas with a few things–taking a walk, observing people, just talking to myself.
Get them crystallized before they diffuse. That’s the trick. They’re volatile, they are.
But the crystallization process is not easy.
Nowadays, some thoughts have been seeping into this blog here. I’ve been careful but a few words leaked out before I knew.
Then I had to get to polishing the leaky bits because the stains are now visible to one and all. Am not quite sure of these bloggy leaks ‘coz I don’t even have a fair share of crystallized thoughts in my stash yet.
Look at me! Already talking about crystallization.
“Don’t expose your ideas before you know what they are,” I say.
“But they’re little, cute things and they bring comments,” says me. “I like comments.”
“You’ll be embarrassed later.” I say quite seriously.
“But I need some outlet, some satisfaction at intervals. I’m human, you know.” says me.
I shift uneasily. I don’t like to be considered human. I’ve always considered myself bottledworder. Not human.
“You’re giving away your thought crystals. They could become an unusual colour. They could have promise. But once folks see just the leaks, they won’t bother to look into the main stash!” I am alarmed.
“But will there ever be a main stash? What if there never is a main stash? What if this is it? The here and the now?”
I am silent. I am stubborn. “But there could be.”
“Okay. But why would anybody bother to look into an unknown stash? Do you know anyone who does that?”
No, I really don’t. But I am still for deferred pleasure. “Just wait a while,” I say to me.
But me is so stubborn. Me has never listened. “No, shan’t. I am me. I’ll blog.”
So I start typing.
***
I posted this about a month and a half into my tryst with blogging (July 8, 2012). It was a curious experience reading this today, about a year now from my foray into blogging.
bottledworder 
This makes me want to blog more– to write more, even.
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Since trying to get published these days is like playing the lottery I’ve stopped worrying and learned to love the blog. I don’t care about fans or “likes” or comments, but I do love writing. I’ve been published, but that field has dried up. Blog on, my friend. At least a few of us are reading your good words.
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I natter away to myself all day too, trying out ideas, working them through. But if I don’t write them down they don’t gel, crystallize. Blogs are good for that; you can always change your mind later.
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I talk to myself all the time as well, so this makes me very happy.
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I can relate to the impulse to want to post ideas now…but sometimes it’s good to let an idea sit for a bit before posting. Not that I do that often, but I suspect it would be helpful 🙂
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Thank God – someone else who talks to themselves all day. I never stop.
I liked this post, it made me laugh. 😀
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I was under the impression that the bloggy connundrum was the Live/Write issue. I need to live to be able to write something interesting, but I also need to write to maintain my fan base. Ah, the modern era’s Catch 22. Now, I’m rethinking that & adding this issue to the mix: revealing the secret stash too early & ruining the batch…ugh. Is there no end to the literary troubles??
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This describes the need to write quite well.
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I’m told I’m also stubborn. I do things my “own way” and often get embarrassed later. And interesting how this blog talks about leaking material out. Just this morning I began a post on my take on that concept. Hey how did you know??? :). Synchronicity.
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