These are the records of the Earthling Bottledworder (henceforth to be referred to as EB in the third person) trapped in the spaceship Over-Enterprise for several months on its voyage to the Blogosphere.
Earlier records show that EB had entered the Blogosphere in hopes of finding strange new worlds only to find the denizens of dear old planet Earth in remarkable new avatars singing old songs in new ways.
Excerpt report
In this section, EB refers to the sounds of an activity called Blogging that life-forms in the Blogosphere seem to engage in periodically.
The low hum of the cafe or the public house
This seems to be a sound very familiar to EB on earth. It’s the low hum of bright Bloggers engaging in earnest discussions on similar topics. They greet EB on a cold, winter’s evening with warmth and promise as he enters their circle. Some rustling sounds are audible as bloggers shift over, make space for EB and share ideas over the clinking of ice and music and videos through sedate nods and handshakes. EB is impressed with the friendliness of the creatures, especially with how they offer to share their carefully crafted fare in the public sphere.
The shouting and the hollering at the fishmarket
EB’s next visit to another part of the planet is a stark contrast. The life-forms in the fishmarket rush at him with great speed as he enters. As soon as he approaches bombarding distance, they dump their words at him with loud thuds and clanks and some rat-a-tat through readers and feeds and social media shares before he has absorbed the first one. The din is deafening but highly entertaining as creatures compete with each other. The whole atmosphere is usually genial and EB is pleasantly surprised to find plenty of very talented life-forms in this fishmarket adept at slicing and dressing fish with the utmost agility. The whooshing of knives as they flash through the air and land on chopping blocks as bloggers cut and delete and copy and paste are the only sounds audible above the din.
The good ol’ hearty slaps on the back
EB says that this is an activity Blogosphere creatures engage in by pressing like buttons. The sounds can range from a gentle pat to a hearty slap on the back. The creatures know how to interpret these gestures. EB advises you to keep an ear out. These are one of the most pleasant sounds in the Blogosphere and many a blogger will play these sweet sounds over and over by reloading their pages in fascination.
The voices
Bloggers. You can hear them. The sweet melodies, the intermittent crackles, the inspired rhapsodies, the long harangues, the gentle conversational tones, the smalltalk, the angry roars, the businesslike lists and the stream-of-consciousness flows. EB records that he has encountered all of these voices in Blogland. Some inhabitants will set up a tent and sing only a particular tone so that it’s easy for EB to know which tent to visit for what song. Others sing many different tunes all day as their hearts please. Sweet creatures, these bloggers. Mostly.
The sounds of silence
EB records that not all life-forms in the Blogosphere make a sound. Some tread by shyly and noiselessly, others pass by in stealth and others are predators. In most places in Blogland though, there’s life activity. But there are wastelands too where voices of solitary bloggers sing in vain waiting for a sound of a fellow blogger only to be greeted by the deafening silence of the night. But some Bloggers are naturally hermits and prefer to sing in solitude.
Notes:
EB’s last records show that these sounds of the Blogosphere compensated for his longings for planet earth. He became rather delusional in the last records confusing Blogland for his home and the voices as that of Earthlings.
The last sound heard from the spaceship (according to a blog in Blogland) was that of the vigorous clicking of the like button.
Written in response to Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Blogging
bottledworder 
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well done. I should write so well!! great observations, in this world created in the blogosphere. Way down here in Tasmania we hear the echos
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I hope you heard me pressing the like button loud and clear. This post was so amazingly creative! Congratulations on the fresh press.
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Thanks:)
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Reblogged this on wincharles.
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Interesting!
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Love your description of voices! i’m not sure where I fall so I’ll have to think about it. Thanks for visiting my blog.
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Wish I could close my eyes and just listen to the sound of it all…
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Dunno how else to say it except to write: “fantastic!”
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I’m so jealous of your wonderful writing.
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Thank you!
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I was pleasantly surprised to see your “handle” up on the homepage. (I remember you from my sister’s blog, Pegoleg.)
This was a well structured missive and oh so observant.
Congrats on being FPd! Enjoy the ride 🙂
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Yes, I remember Pegoleg. Great blog.
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Well done bottledworder. That ‘voice’ coming across loud and clear as usual. Great post.
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Thanks again!
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Lovely post. I see you took the sound challenge, so did I –yesterday. Today well, feel free to come to my blog and leave a link to your blog in comments on any of my posts. http://www.bradstanton.com My post for today is really gross, about vampires, but only true stuff, I think.
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Thanks for visiting! I’ve been following your posts!
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Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, well deserved. I understand that the blogosphere is responsible for a considerable uptick in the consumption of caffeine, or was it you refueling to make it back to the mothership?
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ha ha ha ! That was funny!
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Congrats, we were both freshly pressed! I am so glad they picked you – I subscribed to your blog yesterday and I have been enjoying some of your posts so much. Look forward to much more
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yes! I saw!
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The voices, the voices – love it. 🙂
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ha ha
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congrats on being FP! I did this challenge also but mine didn’t turn out near as well done as yours! I really liked this! 🙂
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Clever. Nicely done.
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thanks
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I like your interpretation of the challenge. Very creative!
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Thanks.
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My husband would so totally adore this post with all its spaceship references! 🙂
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ha ha 🙂 🙂
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That was very clever very well crafted: I am sure glad you were not wearing a red shirt when you wrote it. 🙂
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ha ha 🙂
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Your blog is really, really good. I’m looking forward to exploring it. Thanks for liking my post about teaching writing. You are now the third person to like something on my blog! Of course, I haven’t been trying very hard–the blogosphere is more foreign to me than “My Favorite Martian,” which was my absolute favorite TV show growing up, and which dates me.
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I plan to explore your blog in detail as soon as the long weekend arrives. Thanks for looking at mine.
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This is the pleasant sound of a like button singing its sweet song – very clever, and great fun, thank you!
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Like your comment! 🙂
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Well put! I liked the Star Trek references.
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🙂
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nicely done – you have the variety of bloggers down pat – and what we sound like individually and in unison
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Like! Like!
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Dude. This was written with the ‘fucking awesome’ part of your brain.
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Like!
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This post is so cool! I really enjoyed it, so unique and carefully done. Well done
🙂
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Thanks! Nice to hear a good comment!
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